Different plans

Grace and I are home from our week down at Scottish Rite. We are happy to be home and I am looking forward to sleeping in my own little bed tonight!

Although things did not turn out the way I had anticipated or hoped for this week, Kevin and I are very encouraged by what God taught us and the blessings that were shown to us. It's amazing how often I think we are heading down one path and that path is altered to a different one. I have learned over the past 10 years that it really doesn't do anyone any good to do what I would like to do (and sometimes have done) in these instances (pitch a fit!) Instead God has taught me to step back and try to watch what He is trying to teach us. Sometimes this is easier to do than other times. This week, it took a few days for me to figure out that things weren't going as well as we had hoped for and after getting ready to start grumbling, I looked outside of our window (we had an incredible view of the park and it was all lit up) and I could hear God saying to me Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven" and also Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord." I was immediately comforted. Thank you Jesus for comforting me.

I don't know if you have read the little story by Emily Perl Kingsley but someone sent this to me right after Grace was born. Emily wrote this as a description of what it is like to have a child born to you with special needs. Here is the story:

Welcome to Holland

When you are going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, Michelangelo’s David, a gondola ride in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there has been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It’s just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It is just a different place. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills; Holland has tulips; Holland even has Rembrandts.

Everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

The pain of that will never ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things about Holland.

This little story was exactly the way I felt after Grace was born and it depicts how I have felt so many times throughout her life. This week is one of those times. My bags were packed and I was ready for one trip yet someone sent me somewhere else....but it was just as beautiful, just different!

Some of the blessings that we received this week were meeting so many children with so many needs (kids that had just been through major surgeries, kids in wheelchairs, and multiple kids with amputations and missing limbs) and watching pure joy on their faces. These kiddos know how to enjoy life to the fullest and embrace each moment as a gift. Another blessing was Grace getting to develop some relationships with some of these children and watching this happen was amazing. I have never seen her at such ease in any sort of peer group. Also, the entire hospital setting and all of the caregivers were absolutely incredible! It was such a blessing to have such a positive experience for Grace in a hospital setting. She actually had fun!

We continue to trust in God's plan for Grace's life and thank Him for a great week! Now, we are anxiously awaiting Cannon's return from camp tomorrow!

Thank you for your continued prayers for our family,

Carrie